A couple of evenings ago, my night began with stumbling through the front door and carelessly dripping off my purse, my sweater, my jacket (and anything else I could manage to let off)… I felt the desire to do no else than to collapse at the doorway. However, this was prevented as I fell against my mother’s comforting embrace. I hung there in her grip, weak, heavy-hearted, and tired in ways I didn’t know I could be, for what seemed like a thousand passing moments. Though, it was only seconds that had passed when she proceeded to gently sit me down on the kitchen stool and prop me back up to look at something.
She had been cleaning around in our garage earlier that day and came across some school work of mine from when I was in kindergarten and first grade… “Hannah’s Butterfly Book… Hannah’s Drafting Book…”.
Tears silently kissed my flushed complexion.
I am vastly entranced by childhoods and their makings. My curiosity often thinks of how it would be to have the time to spend with my younger self; whether that be three months younger or 13 years younger, the idea makes its appearance quite often in my mind (very much so, as of late) and I cannot help but wonder what I would share with this other self… If it were five-year-old me, I imagine myself holding her tightly, feeding her homemade gooey chocolate chip cookies, brushing her long, fair hair and saying, “Everything is going to be amazing,” every other minute. I would tell her to stay curious and passionate when she goes into her treehouse that she decorates so craftily, and to ask the questions she’s dying to inquire upon because a surprising amount of others are actually wondering similar things as well, but also to take it as a compliment if you are the only one thinking about, well, whatever it may be… As I continued to read through my 1st grade journal entries, reading things like, “I am thankfl for my family and friends. I am thankfl for my home and yummy food. I am thankfl for the trees.” and “If I was a butterfly I could fly away to a pretty home!” I caught myself with the reminder: what you did know, and what you didn’t, brought you to this place you are currently in the midst of, here, in this very moment, and everything actually is… amazing.
-Hannah of Lyla & Blu